Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Randomize
