Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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