i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
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My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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