Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
