I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
