Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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