we're chasing vodka with high fives
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
