BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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