You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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