So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
