I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
