hotel room ftw
youre lurking in front of me
someone threw a dead crab at me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
