I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
