so explain again why im purple
no
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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