Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
