you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
