I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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