There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
