White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you had me at cake vodka
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
