How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize