I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
