I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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