If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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