I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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