Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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