My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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