Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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