Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
