we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
