i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
