she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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