Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
