Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
