He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize