OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
