"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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