Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
