You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
