Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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