Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
