Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
