I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
