Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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