This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
