He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Your cock deserves a montage
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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