My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
