Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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