And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
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