So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
