I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
