I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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