But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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