One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Two words: blizzard sex
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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