You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's get the cat blown out
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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