just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
