billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
