your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
