come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
