Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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