Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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