Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
