I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
