Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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