it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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